A romantic phrase that has left us speechless. Jul 7, 2021 · 11. Feb 7, 2024 · Reach all this book-worthy material in just a few scrolls directed downward, and don’t forget to vote for clever, sarcastic quotes. STAND there!”. — Kourtney Kardashian. May 6, 2021 · What is a mountain goat called? A hillbilly. Understanding this stupid, but actually too real joke. " 7. – George Carlin. “At the Drop of a Hat”. Inspiring, Success, Congratulations. Dreading and fearing it will only make the few years we have less enjoyable. A hat would be dropped or swept in a downward arc and participants would begin. a humorous anecdote 2. Knowing the ~other~ benefits your bra has beyond the obvious. “Yes, my favorite animal is definitely the beaver. " 11. Sep 22, 2022 · Once you are done, give the best jokes your vote, and share this article with your friends! #1. It’s hotter than Kevin’s mom out there! 3. I never even listen when you tell me them. "I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. ” —Mitch Hedberg. "You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with. “Let everything you do be done in love. As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. May 19, 2023 · 1. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. ” -Mindy Kaling. Thanksgiving is the following Jan 11, 2024 · 6. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the May 18, 2023 · You’re just like a Russian doll—full of yourself. The mirror says that she lives with seven guys, but she's not easy. Dalai Lama. ” “Life moves pretty fast. Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Charlie Chaplin. something that is said or done for fun; prank 3. a ridiculous or humorous circumstance. Mar 14, 2024 · Charles Shulz. Ephesians 4:29-30 Don’t use foul or abusive language. practical joke. Saken er biff. No joke. " Inside jokes told subtly, so that outsiders don't even know they are told, creates irony. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. A bag of money can represent not only wealth, but also massive inflation. Silences also have a lot to say, sometimes even more than words. You are like a cloud. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with them later. Feb 7, 2022 · It is always possible. Jan 9, 2023 · 11. “On Wednesdays we wear pink Oct 23, 2021 · 13. Leonardo da Vinci. It’s funny how the cost of living is going up Nov 29, 2023 · The Flintstones quotes are still funny decades later, showcasing the show's longevity and comedic appeal. " — Batman Beyond: Return of the Oct 3, 2023 · Funny motivational quotes. It’s called balance. Click for more definitions. ”―. "I think if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it's literally going to cease to exist. Having ONE MORE annoying thing Dec 18, 2019 · Famous Quotes About Being 50. ” —@SardonikTart “Parenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room putting away the same toys all day long. “Wanna bone?” Image: Giphy 6. Translation: Like the yolk in the egg. Getty Images. Sep 29, 2023 · Well, hold onto your seats, folks, because we've got 55 one-liner jokes that are so inappropriate, they'll make your grandma blush! Here at WTF Notebooks, we don't shy away from a little bit of off-color humor, so we've gathered some of the funniest and most twisted one-liners out there. Explanation: “No joke” has a double meaning here. 22. I always tell new hires, “Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you. “Shock me, say something intelligent. For the infographic, scroll to the bottom of the page. You know how that joke made you feel. Anak Ng Tokwa / Anak Ng Pating. 3. Sep 25, 2023 · No prejudice; I hate everyone equally. Wayne Huizenga. The road to success is always under construction. 2. “Sir, I believe it will hurt as long as you keep calling it the entrance. Gordon. Real meaning: In the 19 th century, a hat was used to indicate the start of a race or a fight. – Gretchen Wieners. Dec 27, 2023 · Martin Luther King, Jr. The saying many a truth is said in jest means that just because someone says something funny, doesn’t mean that it isn’t also true. Nov 28, 2023 · 1. "She's pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it. Means: To be crazy or insane. Life is short. Unknown. You can't scare me. Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. This phrase is used when you’re physically or mentally exhausted and can’t go on. “88% of parenting is saying ‘it's bedtime’ 150 times between 8:00 and 9:00 every night. “Check your lipstick before you come for me. This Dec 4, 2023 · Try this: When you shake someone’s hand, jokingly say, “I’m so glad you had the privilege of meeting me”. — Eleanor Funny Quotes. “Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life ”- S. Steve Wright. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day. “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you. ) I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread. ” —@OneFunnyMummy Dec 23, 2020 · Have you ever really want something so bad, and then you see a friend (or worse, a frenemy) who has it and you’re all, “OMG, that’s really cool!” on the outside, even though on the inside Feb 3, 2024 · Best It’s Hotter Than Jokes. "If it wasn’t for coffee, I’d have no discernible personality at all. 4. He also chases his tail for entertainment. If you don’t stop and look I think a few quotes have been said one too many times and have become oversaturated. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later. “Doctor, my a** hurts,” a man says as he steps into the doctor’s office. You never know what you’re gonna get. “Life is like the smiley face emoji. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. A similar expression is to make a crack about someone or something, which means to make a joke about a person or thing. “As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it Jun 30, 2023 · It is a way of life. “Buffet” is a French word that means “get up and get it yourself. But now I’m not so sure. 13. “You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. “Laughter is the key to happiness, so don’t forget to turn it on. Likewise, if I say something to you intending you to understand it one way, even though I mean it another way, I am speaking ironically. Also, share this wisdom with your friends by dropping them a link to this article containing the smartest quotes ever! #1. They generally put down a mother in the abstract for being fat, stupid, old, ugly, or the like—things you should never say about a mother! The practice of making yo mama jokes is more about joke-telling than it is about genuinely insulting someone’s actual mother. “I always say ‘Morning’ instead of ‘Good Morning,’ because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people. "You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived in a history book. Then it must be none of your business. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy Feb 29, 2024 · Funny Insults That Really Aren't That Mean. Jan 29, 2017 · 3. “I’m gracing you with my presence. 2 days ago · Amanda Mannen. ” May 8, 2023 · The phrase "butt of the joke" finds its origins in the Old French word "but," which meant to aim or target something, especially with an arrow. 15. He doesn't like to obey anyone in an authority role and he and Spencer clash when the later is filling in for Lewbert at the front desk. Enjoy this list of funny oxymoron quotes sure to make you giggle. What did the goat say about her veggies? “These are so baaaaad!”. “Life can be crazy, but it’s also hilarious. “Just because it was handmade doesn’t mean it was easy. Jun 12, 2020 · She's Not Easy. The teacher scolded me for Nov 16, 2023 · 17. "Worthless as gum on a boot heel!" 3. The show combined classic sitcom elements with a fun, prehistoric setting, creating memorable quotes and gags. The place they are is usually the place they want to be. “OK, tell me where,” the doctor says. What makes these Donkey quotes funny is Shrek's reaction to them and Donkey's mostly deadpan delivery, which showcases why their relationship has carried four movies and counting. “Life is like a box of chocolates. During this time, the Old French word “but” was used to mean to aim Feb 16, 2024 · If you’re feeling bad, just look at the cats, you’ll feel better, because they know that everything is, just as it is. It’s just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless. The dynamic between Fred and Barney, including their teasing and insults, added to the humor and charm of the show. Spanish proverb. On immigration. Som plommen i egget. – Instructables. My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me. Means: To do something without delay. #2. I have stepkids. #3. 19. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. "Music always sounds better on Friday. You could read it as “seriously” or as “a joke didn’t walk into the May 25, 2023 · These quotes are perfect for greeting cards and stepdad gifts: You're not my stepdad. "Never argue with an Jul 6, 2021 · General funny family quotes. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. "Go to heaven for the climate, hell for 2 days ago · 17. If someone describes you as "highfalutin," they think Feb 10, 2022 · You’re probably dumb. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the Jul 31, 2023 · You can boost morale in the workplace by sharing a message about the upcoming weekend. 21. "I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. “When Summary. Love must truly be blind because it can’t see me at all. 24 "Me! Me! Oh, Oh Pick Me! Oh, I Know! May 8, 2022 · Revenge Of Chuck. 12. Stand your ground. You’re worn slap out when you’re dog-tired and so beat you can’t go on. 168 Copy quote. ) I was feeling a bit down, I went to a therapist a few times at a hundred bucks a pop. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either. This is the Filipino counterpart for the English insult “son of a bitch. " — Truvy Jones, Steel Magnolias. May 8, 2024 · Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk . In the Philippines, this is considered a humor line and a regular expression that you can hear people saying from time to time. “As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it. “I would ask how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Oct 3, 2023 · Read on for more of our favorite Mean Girls quotes that anyone would recognize, no matter what the day. See examples of JOKE used in a sentence. The group, which has dedicated itself to happier living through inertness, would change it to: “Don’t just do something…. " —Mitch Hedberg. It can't hurt to toss in a little wit and wisdom on reaching age 50 from a few famous people as well. "Friday. Trump on domestic policy. " 42. It’s hotter than knobs out here. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Here are a few quotes about death from the Stoics. 14. " "Calling you is a waste of time. Latin, Humor, Political. English translation: Son of a tofu / Son of a shark. an instance of jesting : kidding. Every Father’s Day, Dad gives Mom a big kiss and whispers in her ear, “You’re sitting in my chair. " – Oscar Jan 11, 2012 · Chicken Jokes What the hen said when she saw the scrambled eggs. You’ve 11. By the 14th century, "butt" referred to the support or target for an archery target. Meaning: To be popular or fashionable. – Seneca. Michael Altshuler. Screenwriters love to sound profound, but some of the most quoted lines they’ve written are also some of the most obvious, puddle-deep platitudes adorning high school yearbooks the world over. “Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. ”—. Your life never expires. Apr 26, 2022 · People excuse telling mean jokes with replies such as “Oh I was only joking, chill out” or “You are being too sensitive”. A simple yet powerful quote about the beauty of life. "No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness. Jul 15, 2021 · 1. 33. com. ”. “Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door. Charleton Heston. “I love being married. “Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts. I was rewatching last night and Joey met Jill and Rachel stops him from hitting on her I used to find that scene hilarious it's still funny but it's been repeated so much here and other social media places that it's become diluted to the point where it doesn't May 14, 2024 · All I want is to spend a nice, quiet day with someone else’s family. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. A day wasted on others is not wasted on one’s self. " Don't try. Colossians 3:8 But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. " – Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994), American writer. Many a truth is said in jest definition. To fall with the door into the house. It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart. DO something!”. 73. Death is going to happen. 18. “Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. Jul 14, 2023 · 4. Mar 31, 2024 · Hop to it! 100 Easter Quotes. Margaret Deland. Smile while you still have teeth. May 29, 2024 · Don't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. " — The Dark Knight. Meaning: To get straight to the point. Like my dog. You know what isn’t bad, though? This list of the best “why did the Feb 25, 2019 · 15 Southern sayings about pigs we all grew up hearing. ” —Jack Handey. “I’m a work in progress without a completion date. 滚蛋! (gǔn dàn!) 蛋 (dàn) or “egg” is a versatile term in Chinese! Mar 22, 2014 · There is a national, nonprofit organization which advocates paraphrasing an irritating directive, to wit: “Don’t just stand there…. " "Your mouth should be as silent as the 'P' in psychology. Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30. The good news is you’re the pilot. " Sheik Abd-al-Kabir 2. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. " "I'm still deciding whether you're the weakest link or the Joke definition: something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act. something, such as a funny story or trick, that is said or done in order to make people laugh…. ” – Anonymous. Ru Paul’s Drag Race is a treasure chest filled with the best insults! 7. “ Quoth the raven…Nevermore ” – Edgar Allan Poe (1849 - 1875), American writer. Joke comes from the 1600s and derives from the Latin word for jest. " — Andy Atticus. " ~ Isabel Allende. " "I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to bury my head that deep in the sand. “A pearl necklace would look really nice on you. ”- 1 Corinthians 16:14. Nothing to do with all your strength. “It’s better to conquer grief than to deceive it. Get the best comebacks and insults below: You’re cute. “Don’t get bitter, just get better. It’s your personality that’s the issue. Jul 8, 2021 · These sayings are sure to bring back a host of memories and a ton of laughter and of course, some Southern pride. Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. said about humorous remarks that contain serious or true statements. "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. "Therefore, if JOKE definition: 1. " ―Will Ferrell. "We're rounding 'em up in a very humane way, in a very nice way. These are gaslighting techniques to diminish your feelings. This comes from the idea that a growing chick has all the nutrients it needs to grow. Find more freedom quotes, or keep scrolling for silly social updates 🙂. — Theodore Roosevelt. 32. "Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty. When the magic mirror is introducing the possible princesses that Lord Farquaad can marry he delivers a raunchy joke about Snow White. May 20, 2024 · I don't think it's natural. " — Oscar Wilde. Happy reading! 1. The problem was he/she wanted a serious relationship, and I’m a funny girl/guy. I used to think I was indecisive. “There are more things to alarm us than to harm us, and we suffer more often in apprehension than reality. – Bustle and Sew. IGLIBY WIJHIK (اقلبي وجهك) Flip your face AKA turn that frown upside down. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do. I’m just describing you. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young. The bad news is time flies. " May 20, 2024 · 1. – Anonymous. - Alyssa Edwards, Ru Paul’s Drag Race. I'm crazy enough to be a stepdad and lucky enough to be your stepdad. "If you don't like the movie, I've got slides. Translation: Met de deur in huis vallen. Chuck is a devious little prankster that resides at the Bushwell Plaza with his father. Relaxation Club of America, it calls itself. — The Dalai Lama. Note: this post originally had 70 images. Ephesians 5:4 Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Another variation is “worn slam out. “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. angelradioes. Charles Bukowski. Whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly. " — Lou Brutus. my children are all mixed up! Yolks on you - Jokes on you - play on words Why'd the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum/armadillo that it CAN be done! Which came first the chicken or the egg? Hen Sayings Hen house - large number of females living in the same house Jun 23, 2011 · Irony is "the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning. Now, we're going hog wild and sharing a slew of the South's favorite expressions that involve pigs as well as their meanings. Rodney Dangerfield. Origin: There was an old law stating that if someone butchered an animal that didn’t belong to him, he would only be punished if he was caught with blood on his hands. Rumour is they’re working on a self-driving boat as well. “No, no, no. tumblr. Whether you're a fan of puns, metaphors, sarcasm, or just Nov 2, 2014 · He who looks for it below there is wasting his time. laughingstock. “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. . 41 I hope that, in the next life, I can reach yours before Oct 6, 2022 · Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. If I were a dog and you were a flower, I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower. Aug 22, 2019 · Engolir sapos. “Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. “Right around the door”. - Naomi Smalls, Ru Paul’s Drag Race. “But you know what cats are like. Get the mini violin out. POST. "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. You are the target of the joke’s mocking and ridicule. May 30, 2023 · Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. Jena Ardell // Getty Images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Jun 18, 2020 · Albert Einstein. I didn’t tell you. Now You're Grounded, Monkey!”. “Face your problems, don’t Facebook them. Dec 5, 2018 · Translation: Being in the wind. 72. . ” Image: Giphy 5. “Enjoy the ride, but don’t forget to stop and laugh at the funny moments. Saying something is ‘just a joke’ is not an excuse. Dec 27, 2022 · Funny quotes about life. Robert Frost. ) It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it. “Smile and laugh your way through life. Some are outright funny, others are a little droll. May 8, 2018 · Yo mama jokes are cheesy insults making fun of someone’s mother. You look like something that came out of a Jan 31, 2022 · Come on! No one should get an award for just showing up! 6. When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me. If plan A fails, at least there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. "I'm not saying you're ugly, but if you were a scarecrow, birds would avoid you. Oct 27, 2023 · 39 Sometimes a silence is worth a thousand words, because with it we also want to say something. Jun 26, 2023 · 1. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Pão pão, queijo queijo. You're my bonus dad. “As Mad as a Hatter”. As if an angel is peeing on your tongue. It’s hotter than a h*rny housewife reading 50 shades of grey at the Magic Mike XXL premiere. In the past, we've shared popular Southern phrases about dogs, horses and chickens. 5. " 8. “Mirrors can’t talk. I've seen this used in two different kinds of situations: The first is similar to that in your quote, where someone is trying to cover up the truth of their (usually insulting) statement by pretending it's a joke. A joke is funny and inclusive. 16. When it comes to sayings, Southerners like to get the whole farm involved. Jan 13, 2024 · Related: 100 of Gordon Ramsay's Funniest Quotes and Insults 41. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police. The superhero of the workweek. joke: [noun] the humorous or ridiculous element in something. I’m not insulting you. One of the definitions of crack is to say, boast, or utter something. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do. " - Joan Rivers. It often happens on southern summer days when the heat rises as the temperature shoots past 100 degrees. George Bernard Shaw. David Bowie. 1. “It's Too Late For Sorry. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Laugh it off!”. (1929-1968), American civil rights activist. 傻蛋 (shǎ dàn) A very common and lowkey hilarious insult in Mandarin is 傻蛋 or “stupid egg. " 2. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. Dec 20, 2023 · When you dump a load in the washing machine, it doesn’t follow you around. Robin Williams. Dec 15, 2023 · Meaning: Used to indicate that a person has been discovered in or just after the act of doing something wrong or illegal. If one was caught with the meat but his hands were Oct 27, 2017 · Bonnie Prudden. (swallow frogs) I believe it might be unpleasant to swallow a frog, which is probably why this saying is used when you have to shut up and accept unpleasant things with no other choice. Father’s Day Nov 10, 2021 · 35 Popular Old Sayings and Their Real Meanings. Don’t hold yourself back from saying what you’re thinking. -Epictetus. Apr 3, 2023 · Laugh a little and make life brighter. I create because I have a need to share the most beautiful part of my soul. BEDO JANAZAH WA YISHBA3 FEEHA LATTIM (بدو جنازة يشبع فيها لطم) This funny Arabic saying literally translates to ‘he wants a funeral procession so he can fill up on crying’. Mitch Hedberg. The origin of the phrase “butt of the joke” seems to stem back to at least the 13th century. "Highfalutin". 74. “That was so fetch. Dec 1, 2020 · An oxymoron is a unique figure of speech that can take on a comical tone. The perfect balance of optimism and sarcasm. Origin of this idiom. They’re going to call it the iAye. “The smallest feline is a masterpiece. Nov 5, 2021 · 71. (Bread bread, cheese cheese) Portugal people are really simple and practical. Sometimes people joke in order to gently let someone know an unpleasant fact about that person. " ~ Jay McInerney Mar 27, 2024 · Best Funny Quotes — The Poet’s Picks. Apr 21, 2022 · Funny Father’s Day quotes. Nov 19, 2023 · 13. 40 I don’t know what we are, but I don’t want us to ever stop being. " Playboy, March 1990. Children will probably know about Snow White's story and the seven dwarves she lives with, but this joke goes over their heads. instagram. ” -Joan Rivers. Jan 15, 2017 · Here are my 33 favourite funny Dutch idioms and expressions. 2 days ago · If you are said to be the “butt of a joke” it means that you are the person the joke is about. What does cracking a joke expression mean? Definitions by the largest Idiom Dictionary. 3 days ago · 10 meanings: 1. As Cambridge Dictionaries explains, this is. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. 20. Your face is just fine. “I cannot escape death, but at least I can escape the fear of it. " ―Bob Hope. You never know what it really means. You should really come with a warning label Jun 10, 2024 · Famous Funny Birthday Quotes. From this usage emerged the phrase "butt of the joke," implying that someone is the target of ridicule, similar to an Sep 25, 2023 · 11. Lily Tomlin. “Oh. “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. Feb 3, 2022 · A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. Henry David Thoreau. Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. Meaning: To be in an ideal situation. — Jules Renard. To say something funny; to tell a joke. ~Mark Twain. However, this usage is no longer common outside of this idiom. This guy just wants any excuse to complain. You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. A day without laughter is a day wasted. "Quit bein' ugly. " David Letterman 3. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. Jan 11, 2024 · 10. — Jerry Seinfeld. You're the best stepdad because you still chose to marry our mom, even after you met us. Learn more. Funny Sarcastic Quotes That There is the saying many a true word is spoken in jest. It’s hotter than a half-f*cked fox in a forest fire. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. " When someone is speaking rudely you'll often hear a Southern mama tell them to "quit bein' ugly. The golden child of the weekdays. And they're going to be happy because they want to be legalized. D. I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes, so sorry if I laugh at your face. "Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning. "Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty. “You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out. Depending on the situation, this can either be a playful insult when a friend does something dumb or straight up fightin’ words if said to a stranger. “I might look like I'm listening to you but in my head I'm sewing. Here are some funny work quotes to consider: "Friday makes Monday worth it. Freedom means the right to yell, “THEATRE!” in a crowded fire. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. 130 Copy quote. yg wr on wv zp nl kf ew yl tj